Cravings

Woke up this morning, late of course and anxious. Had to drive to my dads to drop off little C for the day and tonight, biggest going out night of the year in my little town and going out with my mom so that should be lots o fun!!! she is the best date ever!!
Anyways back to the anxiety......Left my house and got on the road only to realize I forgot my phone, I suddenly felt sick about it, pathetic how a phone could do that to me, anyways it's not like I'm getting phone calls left and right or anything actually pretty sad lately, I'll be happy when the bill comes at least!
So dropped off little C and got back on the road to work when seriously ALL OF THE SUDDEN I was starving, no no no not just starving but the kind of starving when you feel like you want to vomit all over (sorry) and like you insides are turning inside out, that little creature from alien is working its way around and you want to yell at everyone to get the hell out of your way so you can make it to the drive thru without any accidents,,,, yeah well that was nothing compared to what I felt.
I knew that even though I was so hungry it was going to be a situation where either I deal with the pain or I have an episode......Lately I have no control or I feel that way at least, funny because when I engage that is usually the only time I feel in control, but needless to say I lost this particular battle. My urges have not been so strong since before my last treatment, I think I am just feeling so much anxiety about thanksgiving and the fact that tomorrow is 2 months since my nana passed away and I'm really having a difficult time with that!
My M issues have lifted a bit which feels pretty good, however this feeling of being desperate to call which is what I AM dealing with is the crazy hard part. I have stayed strong since last week so that feels both good and bad, how can you miss someones voice soooooo much?

SO I have been trying to think of a fun art project to do with little C tomorrow and having a hard time coming up with one, I'm no good at that kind of stuff.....Beth had the great idea so props to you babe! Any suggestions I would love to hear!!!

Well I won't most likely be posting for a while, I know things will be crazy this week and weekend, AM I READY???? Not sure all I can to is try, try ,try to do my best. Not going to punish myself for today just going to move forward from it!!! Best idea I think.