Strong when I'm engaging how is that possible?

Ok enough with the horoscope crap, Beth is right it is a waste!



So today has been a pretty good day feeling wise, I feel really strong actually, which is somewhat odd because I had had a terrible last 2 days with purging. We had our open house last night at work and my gross self seriously b/p'd like 4 times, all that party food, ugh I did not know what to do. Then came into work today and did it again.

What is going on Lauren?



I think I know if I turn all of the stuff in my head into wanting to b/p I start to remember how strong I feel when I engage and that I can focus on that and not the "real" issues that have built up.

It's weird though I have felt myself smile alot today, some good emails that "always" make me smile, some great comments from the cul-de-sac I love knowing your here! And two really big smiles, one for ae your awesome and your work is so freaking powerful and inspiring to us! and one for something that just happened at work....
So if you don't know I work in a Training Center for Home Dialysis, meaning we have patients come in to train on home machines so that they do not have to go to in-centers 3 times a week, and then feel like shit the days they don't have dialysis, it's an amazing place, I know I have spoke of it before, little things about my favorite patients and when I lose a patient, well about 3 months ago we started training a man who had never done dialysis before and about a month into his treatment I was at work with my boss and there was a mishap when the patient had accidentally taken off to much fluid, well when this happened the patient totally started to have seizures, his B/P completely dropped and he started to vomit and choke on it, it was so scary and we so almost lost him. Well moving on he is married to an amazing woman and they came in for their monthly appt to see their Dr. and his wife got here first, she was all excited and came into my office and said that she had just found out that she was a perfect match for her husband, kidney transplant match that is!! When her husband (the patient) got here I took him back and while we were all back in the room with him she told him,,,,it was such an emotional moment, I lost it completely had to leave the room, they both cried and my god what a crazy world we live in when you can look at your husband and tell them that you can possibly put them out of this living nightmare by giving them one of your organs, let me save your life she said!....Fuck...SO fucking awesome!
Going out with my gf tonight, lots to drink and lots of singing I hope!!! I need a mind eraser please!
Well I'm thinking of you all and wishing you nothing but a wonderful weekend, Love you
Lauren