Not a whole lot better today, slipped up yet again last night and actually did not even think twice about doing it. I just needed to vent and sometimes that is the only way that I know how to do it!
Pathetic I know
So many of you have been so sweet to me and I just wanted to say thank you, the private e-mails have also been so amazing, thank you (you know who you are)!
I want to sleep I'm so overwhelmed at work right now, my boss and everyone else is throwing shit at me from every direction, I swear I do not get paid enough to do this shit. Nursing school hurry up already.
Its weird when I was done posting yesterday all I could think about was the fact that I had no right to complain the way I did, I read so many others posts and I just feel ridiculous even whining about my shit when I see what you all are dealing with.
I was telling someone today that I just want to be selfish and really I do I cannot stand always worrying about everyone else, I feel like I never REALLY focus on ME, and I hate that, worst part is I cannot even type that without feeling like total shit about wanting to take care of myself. Little C and I that's what really matters.
This weekend I know is going to be completely crazy, I'm seeing M tonight-(so excited) and the tomorrow supposed to do a 4 years old b-day but thinking I'm going to totally flake, Little C's party is Sunday and I feel like I have no time to do anything. THIS IS WHEN I HAT BEING A SINGLE MOM~ I get to do it all by myself and its fucking hard!!!
He deserves the best in everything!!!
That should be my concern not me!
I hate me for thinking otherwise!!
Again why can't I disappear?
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13 comments:
Girl, it is time to refine that mantra! I hate myself and I want to disappear just won't do! Even if you don't fully believe in it, try for something positive, and just take it one day at a time.
I hope you have a good weekend!
DG
Come on, "dog"... sometimes one has the right for a "bone"... make a fuss, go out to the park and give a damn yelling session... then have some ice-cream... guess you will get bettter, better... have a hell of a weekend. For instance, I'm shaking my bones to the sound of Little Richards.
Lauren,
Taking care of yourself is not selfish - it's necessary. We are all suffering; no one's pain is worse than anyone else's.
It's okay to take care of yourself - anyway that you need to be healthy.
thinking of you,
jeanne
Sweets, It's self-care, not selfishness, Really.
You know, it's truly a responsibility to be good to yourself. I promise. Imagine what you would want for your little guy? Why not treat yourself wonderfully every time you treat your son wonderfully?!! You deserve it, hon...
So, an order.. take good good care - extreme care.
love Z
I agree, take care of your boy and yourself first. You can still help and care for other people, but make sure your needs are met first, otherwise you won't have anything to give! You are not selfish. You sound wayyy less selfish than me.
I hope you made it through the weekend okay. Hang in there!
So... been selfish already?
exactly . . . self care is not being selfish. It's like on the airplane. They tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first so you can help other people. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of little C.
love you my sweet sista
hope you had a good weekend
xoxo
Sarah
And now for something different, let me tell you I have tagged you.
So please go to PORTUGUESEMANOFWAR.BLOGSPOT.COM and search on the right column BLOCK OF NOTES and then click on tagged by Quintarantino.
Lauren,
My mom wasn't single, but she did suffer from depression and anxiety when I was younger. I knew, as a kid, that my parties stressed her out and I felt guilty as hell for that. I would have rather she taken a lackadasical approach to birthdays rather than make both of us miserable. You can buy a cake from the store. You can make things very low key.
Get a couple of squirt guns and chase each other around the yard.
Take care of yourself. YOU are the best gift you can give your son.
Thinking about you. Hope you're doing okay!
Hi L,
Hope you are having a good day today!!
DG
Hey Lauren,
Having a good week? Stay out of the petty stress and continue to take care of you!
hiya, hot stuff.
xoxo
Sarah
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