Part 2

SO I felt it was time for me to continue!
The Monday following the death of my nana my family went to the mortuary to go over arrangement for the service. It was so hard. My mom had to hand over the last outfit my nana would ever wear.....it was perfect.
My mom held onto it so tightly and I could tell she was just not ready to give it over yet but being the strong amazing woman she was she managed to do it.
I was with my family for a few hours and then decided it was just time for me to have some much needed ME time. Sad to say but I went to the bar and drank, alone, I did not know what else to do.
I ended up going into work for about 2 mins on Tues and was sent home only to return Monday of this week, my boss has truly been a god sent.
Thursday came too fast as did the service. It was beautiful and there were some of the most amazing flowers there that I had ever seen. My nana would have been so happy.
We were all really sad but held it together somewhat ok. That was until I saw the urn that was picked out for my nana by my nana's brother, I had heard about it but had not yet seen it............It was terrible it looked like a fucking BOOK! I totally broke down, I could not think of my nana being in a book for the rest of eternity, made me so sad.
Her brother is a .................I'll be nice.
I decided to speak at the service which was something I wanted to do but was not sure I could. I had an extremely difficult time doing it but somehow made it through.
My uncle got really religious and there was another man who spoke that could barely talk he was so upset, it felt so good to see that my nana had such an impact on so many others, when I got up, what I said was very personal and from the heart, I talked about a few memories and mostly what I was going to miss, not really into sharing everything but I did say that I was going to miss walking into her house and having her come over and hold my face with her gentle sweet loving hands and kiss me! Something I know I will miss forever!

I think I'm going to end Part two at that!!


Lots has been going on with me in my life and with my roomie lately but I think I will wait for the outcome on that one before I begin to tell the drama.
On a good not I have not purged in.....................damn I cannot even remember the last time! No binging either.......How did that happen???????