I'm done

I'm done, I'm finished, I'm over it.............................
I realized I have spent so much time and so much energy on A that it was getting nowhere other than putting so much shit on me and M and I have been doing nothing but second guessing him since. It's not fair to him or me and until he proves me wrong which who knows if he will but I just need to stop the "madness" and move forward..
I had a really nice weekend, went to dinner with M on Friday, had a really great time other than when I went to the bathroom after to fresh in up and when I came out I got a few dirty looks from him and a kiss to figure out if I had gotten sick (which I had not) it was a bit weird because I'm not used to answering to ANYONE especially a man when it comes to my ed.
I have been doing really good as far as the b/p'ng had a bit of an episode on Sat night but other than than all has been ok even though I have been eating till I get full which is not something that I am used to doing. I guess you could say I'm dealing.
Had a bit of a pain in my ass day yesterday, took little C to the park and had my car key fall off my key chain. I could not find it anywhere so I had my roomie come get me and taken me to my moms, which was a pain but had to be done considering I was stranded. I got to my moms and found out by AAA that I had no luck in finding a lock smith in my town which totally sucked, AAA told me I had to go threw a residential company and they would pay $100 of it but when I called them the want 300 which I just could not afford, so I decided to have my car towed this am to the dealer ship and have them look my vin number. HOWEVER I got a phone call from M at like 8:30 last night and he was at the park with a flashlight looking for my keys, and guess what.....He found them. How sweet was that? Ugh I hate feeling venerable which is what I totally feel with him. How do I let my guard down and allow him in completely? I guess it will or won't come with time. All I know is what he did last night was so important to me and I can honestly say that no man that I have been with would have done that for me.
Little C is doing really great, my little stinky although he has learned the whold firend that and keeps tell me,"I not your friend momma, I Mickie's friends" totally hurts my feeling but I just tell him "Well your my friend weather you like it or not" haha I wear the pants in that relationship!!!
Sat and Sunday were pretty quiet, I was going to go out with my gf's but I decided that it just may not be a great idea all things considered I think I need to lay low for a bit!!!
Thank all of you for the invite requests it feels really good to know that others are interested in reading about me and my bull, sorry it has been so much lately my head has just been crazy full of crap!!
Interesting story............my roomie who has been so judgemental with everything going on with me, has just started seeing a married man...........WTF, at least M is in the final stages of his divorce, this guy is married, has a 1 1/2 year old and a with who is 8 weeks prego. I had not advice and no judgement to give, its just so odd to me that she could be so critical of me when I know for a fact if I was to come at her about something like this she would so go off on me! One sided judgemental person. I would never judge her just odd how she can do it so easily to me! Oh well people are different I guess.
I hope you all have had a great weekend,I have something I need to talk about but not ready....big surprise huh!!!! Not bad just feeling a bit scared!!!