The countdown begins!

Hard night but a really great one too, went to the movies with M and had a great time, saw that Marky Mark Eva Melendez movie I can't remember what it is called but really good, sort of shity ending though. First 30 seconds best part haha.
Gotta see it to know what I'm talking about.
After the movie M and I decided to go have a drink at my favorite hole in the wall bar in our town, crazy idea but we just felt like it was ok and as it turns out.....it was.
We had a really long talk about A and how I was feeling about the thought of hurting her and he basically told me that I had til next Wed to tell her and if I didn't he was going to.....he said he cannot stand to see me going threw this anymore. It felt good to hear that but I know what I need to do.
In response to the comments about how I feel about A and my friendship is that I have known her for 1 1/2 years and honestly I do love her but I have felt nothing but drained by her for about a year of that. Always about A honestly I can think of 1 time when she has asked what was going on with me 1 time, what is that? She has been with her boyfriend for that whole time as well as up til the beginning of this year leading M on making him think he still had a chance at his marriage when all along she was lying to me about everything that was going on as well as lying and being a total dick tease to both her boyfriend and M, over and over and over even though M was dating someone else on and off. SO in response yes I care but I also know this has not been the most healthy friendship. I get scared that to be a bitch if she found out she will pull some bs about custody over their daughter or that she will get so pissed at me that she will try to get back with him to prove she can, who knows what would happen I would like to think that M would not do it but the fear is there, so the needy pathetic part of me wants to wait until the divorce is final so that I wont have to deal with something like that, god I hate feeling!!!

I cannot get this stupid smile off my face, thinking of you often,! that is the message I got from M this am and the funny thing is I feel the exact same way.

Not sure of the point behind this post but I think to be honest with you I felt the need to defend myself......GOD why would I feel like that? My mom told me this am that no one deserves to be happy like little C and I do and dammit I want to believe that so much!