Open your eyes Lauren it's a brand new day!!!

Time to deal.........................
Ok so for starters I sent a text to M last night telling him I made a mistake the night before in talking about "one last time", and that it was NOT going to happen, yippy for me, realized I was being a stupid girl and thinking it was going to change his feelings on a long term stand point, "Heidi it's not gonna happen" DEAL!!

So having an ok day so far feeling quite sad but still better than yesterday and the day before, one day at a time right?

Eating has been ok I guess, bagel and some chicken or crab at night, guess that's not great but shit I'm eating.

Waking up this am was sort of weird, I heard my roomie yelling at her little ones, which is a pain in the ass to hear at 6:00am but who knows I may be doing the same thing if I had 2 1/2 year old twin boys.......anyways I rolled over and kissed my little man, perfect little lips of his.....His asthma is yet again driving him crazy and he has barely ate anything in 3 days. I hate seeing him hurt and cough so hard. He is really good with the inhaler however he makes me take a puff after he does, and he gets to administer it and thinks its so funny, I love his little laugh, I wish I could record it and play it for you all!

I miss M but I'm so angry with him and maybe that is what I need right now...It's a beautiful day and I deserve more dammit!!!