How is it that I have gotten to were I hear about others getting and that is that posting has been really feeling like a chore lately.. I really want to do it, I do but I feel like my energy level has dropped down to zero and I cannot manage to do anything but check in on all of you.
Feeling somewhat numb and somewhat open, had a pretty good weekend I did something yesterday that I really did not believe I would ever do on my own, but I did it.......I went to church ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....how in the heck did I pull that one off???
Not to sure...
But it felt so good to do...
No pressure....
just love and sweetness from everyone there.
I want to go back, I just want to not feel forced and I scared that if I go back then people may start pushing there beliefs on my and honestly I need to find my own belief something that works for me not something that someone wants for me, I never do well with that.
Little C and I had a busy day after church, we hit the park, out to lunch, and went to see the "Bee Movie" soooooooooooooo freaking cute..
We had a great day. I dropped him off with my dad on Thursday and got him Sat night, all I know is that was way to long for me to deal with!! I missed him so much. Although he is driving me a bit crazy though, he is picking out all of his clothes that HE wants to wear, and I'm so not liking it. I know I need to let him choose sometimes but there is no way he is leaving the house in his hawaiian swim trunks, red pj scooby shirt and his green/black vans.....NOT HAPPENING! I don't care how mean that makes me....since I picked him up from my dads he has been sticking his tongue out and spitting at me, also NOT OK! I seriously feel like I want to walk out of the room and cry when he does that crap. I know he is a boy but I'm just not used to dealing with that kind of stuff.
Things with M.................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I think I'm going to leave that one alone for right now, lets just say if I hear "Lauren you are doing nothing but sabotaging this relationship one more time I'm going to scream"! I do that I guess...why should I even deserve being in this relationship?
Deserve Lauren???Hun you don't
DESERVE
shit!
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6 comments:
Well of course you deserve a relationship. You work hard, you're a good mom, and a good person. Does he mean your insecurity is sabotoging the relationship. If he's legitimately concerned, try to work on the issue. I'm glad ya'll had a good day yesterday!
You deserve EVERYTHING. Absolutely everything, and that is the truth. You deserve everything wonderful in life, sweet sista.
xoxo
Sarah
You are nuts!!! How can you not see what a wonderful person you are, and that you deserve everything good!!!!
We all deserve someone to love us and put us on a pedestal, don't settle for less sweetie!
Hope you are well today,
DG
Hey Lauren,
I couldn't seem to comment on your more recent post so I'm writing something here. First of all, no b/p in a week is HUGE, and I really see you making progress. Despite the ugly voices and body anxiety, you took the time to write out what is good in your life and what you are grateful for. Keep doing that--it takes serious practice so don't feel bad if you slip up or miss a day. Just keep working on it and remember to breathe and focus on balance. For both body and mind.
Hang in there sweetie,
DG
just wanted to stop by and say
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
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