I have been totally not into blogging the last few days, not sure why other than I have been completely frustrated with this whole process and lack of urgency on the part of Summit treatment center! I have spoken with the woman from there a few times this week and all she told me was that she had not received my labs and that there decision to treat me was based on my lab work~ ERRRRR I have had the forms sent over there 3 times by my Dr. and I have sent them on top of that.
I just want to start this damn treatment already, I cannot even explain how freaking tired I am. I'm barely sleeping at all and I feel like if I close my eyes for even one second I will be completely out for days, which right now I would not mind.
I'm getting so irritated about all of this even as I type now, I just....never mind!
Ok so my feelings are kind of hurt and maybe I'm just over sensitive right now I don't know. so I decided to meet that guy friend of mine the other night that I have talking to for a few months and it was great, he knows some of my stuff, and knew that I would not be big on the idea of dinner so we met for drinks. It was really weird because with thinking I would not be attracted to him I had no fear until I walked in the door and saw him. He looked just as I thought he would and I was totally into him from the first second I saw him! I hate that I let myself do that! Anyways we had awesome conversation and went outback on this little patio with a great music and a fireplace, I smoked more cigs than I have in 3 years actually only like 3 but it was so nice out and he made it so comfortable!!! Now since Tuesday I got a few lame text messages yesterday, and I mean lame!!!!! He totally was into me or so I thought from what he said. Ugh I don't know but I feel stupid because we were seriously talking and emailing all day long everyday for like 2 1/2 months. I have not dealt with something like this in years and I'm scared that it is because of my weight or shit maybe its just me. Whatever it is I just wish he would say something. I would feel so much better even if he said hey Lauren lets just be friends, I'm totally down for that! I know a relationship is really not where I should be right now anyways but it feels nice to know a man cares, when you care about them. Ok enough complaining for now!
Well hopefully I will hear something soon, I have a crazy busy afternoon ahead of me so I will update as soon as I know or hear something!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
I REALLY hate that all treatment centers care about are lab results and your stats. It basically lets me know I'll never get better if I dont get underweight again. Its difficult!!!
hotthottsugarkane-I actually thought that was the reason too but the program I want to get into is a 5 day a week 13 hours a day and I stay there not inpatient though, what they are telling me now is that if my labs are bad they will not take me and that they want me in an inpatient which Im just not up for because the one that I would have to go to is at Stanford and they are a mental health facility not an ed facility so I would be with all the people in mental health which I have done before in my last program and I will just not do it again! Seriously the most depressing thing ever!!! ERRRR such a pain! I hope your ok! xoxo lauren
ugh! hang in there sweetie! I would love to say something smarter or more meaningful but I'm pretty wiped right now. Just know I am sending good thoughts your way.
xoxo
Sarah
Sarah- thank you for just being there!!!!!
xoxo lauren
Hang in there! As for the guy, you honeatly never know. After my fiance and I went out, he texted me, "what's up rockstar? I like carrots!" Lame, yes.
hahaha thank you for the laugh k-
xo lauren
hi lauren,
hope you are doing well...
love lulu
Gosh the medical system is so frustrating! I hate you are having a hard time with getting help. And yeah, even though your focus needs to be on getting better right now rather than on men, it is SO understandable to want to have a man there that cares about you. You deserve that.
Take care,
DG
Really?? I didn't know that. I was in a psych hospital once for a suicide attempt, where I got "treated" for my ED. Ha! All they did was set up one appt with a nutritionist and told me what I was doing was bad and I needed to stop. Well no shht!
Maybe one day I'll get real treatment. Who knows.
Good luck!
~Amanda
Post a Comment