Monday, April 23, 2007

Just Scream

Long weekend, but really nice!
Little C was my date to both a birthday party and baby shower on Saturday, and to be quite honest with you he was the best date ever! We had such a great time at both, there were so many kids all over for him to play with he did amazing, and when he wanted he would come back and do a check-in just to make sure I was still there. It was so cute I was holding a few of my gf's baby and he would come up and point on my face and the baby's that I was HIS momma.... I loved it!
Sunday was pretty hard for me, I went to my apartment to finish packing up and made it to sitting down in the middle of my living room. I did not do a single thing except eat Cheetos and cry.
At least I ate right....
I'm having such a hard time because I am so angry that this damn ed is taking away everything in my life again, everything that I have worked so hard for in being a single mom, going to school and working my ass off to provide and for what to lose it because of this life consuming piece of shit gd F'ing disease. (sorry had to get it out)
I know Im doing what I have to do right now but I just wish it never had to happen again, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
Ok now I need a ambien
I begin next Monday! I cannot breathe about that!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

PTC said...

You will be okay Lauren. It will be a good thing.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are so frustrated. Try not to think of it as losing things but instead you are making sure that you and little C wil have all that and more! I am proud of you girl!

Xoxo
Sarah

Mary said...

Anger can work in our favor sometimes--it makes us finally reach the point of wanting true change. I hope Monday is the start of a whole new life for you!
DG

Feisty Frida said...

You're not losing everything, the only thing you'll be losing is your ED. And that is the greatest thing ever!!!!!

Love the stories about Little C, awe, little boys rock!