Tuesday, December 11, 2007

So much apperication

Every time I start feeling like things are going down hill and that no one gives a flying shit about what I'm going through something happens to turn things around for me and today that happened yet again....
I have met through this wonderful world so many amazing people that I love so much and today I was lucky enough to have opened up a post from a dear sweet friend who has put themselves out there for me so much and I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart Jade! I'm blessed to have you in my life! PLEASE KNOW THAT!!
Thank you Thank you Thank you sweetie!

Moving on now....Things have been kind of tough lately but at the same time I have been dealing. Little C and I are doing amazing which is the biggest and most important thing going on right now, as far as my struggle with this damn ED, things honestly have been ok, rough but ok. It has been almost a week since I have purged which is pretty weird, and trust me it is not because I have not wanted to because I really have but it has been because no matter how hard I try have no energy for it! That in itself makes this whole thing crazy. Every time I eat something which by the way has not been very often lately I want to purge so bad but when it comes down to actually doing it I can't! Maybe that's a good thing lets just hope it last for more than a week, seems like once I hit a certain number of days I start to freak a bit and lose control again!
My weekend was really good, quiet but good. I ended up going downtown with my roomie and my mom and little c which was so much fun and the best part was that I did not run into anyone that I knew......Huge plus and so never happens.
I was so nervous because I just knew I was going to see M and A together, which who knows what is up with that it has been 2 weeks since we even talked. I told him to lose my number so lets hope it stays this way. Honestly I hope I NEVER see his pathetic sorry ass again, Rot is hell loser!
I tried to call Jeremy last night but it was too late for him to talk, forgot about the time difference I guess so I just left him a message, hopefully he gets it! He was the one I talked about a week or so ago that called me. I think about him all the time and just wish I was a better influence on him AND others than what I really am! He has had such an impact on my life that no one other that him and I know about, not always a positive one but one that I feel has made me grow stronger and became a better friend and person all around.
I'm starting to feel somewhat lame. I have no plans for New Years this year and have actually flaked out on two different things that I was supposed to do because it is just not something that I want to spend my New Years Eve time doing! I wish I had a party where I got to get all dressed up to go to but hey that will happen in due time I guess! Anyways I'm sure when it came down to it I would not be able to find anything to wear!
Maybe I should just stay home with bubba, and cuddle. I feel like such a lonely hermit sometime!! Ugh well I guess that's it for now! Sending you all so much love and so sorry I have been so absent lately!!!!!
love Lauren

5 comments:

Mary said...

Hey sweetie,
Thanks for the support, as always. One week is awesome, and I do know what you mean about just not having the energy. It must be a good thing on some level.

I hate New Years myself...to bad all us girls couldn't get together somewhere!

Hugs,
DG

lauren said...

dg- GOD that would be the bast to spend New Years Eve with the cul-de-sac!!!! Could not think of a better way to spend it! Love to you sweetie

Jade said...

Hey Hermit, come on over to my area and have some coffee :-) When we actually do meet, you're not going to be able to get me to shut up, I'll have so much to say!

I already do have so much to say, just on this one post. But first let me say "Yay for you, yay for you, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay......yay, yay yay for you!" Sand in the "Happy Birthday" tune

That little ditty was for your nearly week long accomplishment. Intentional or not, you've still almost gone a week, and thats SOMETHING missy! :-D But I will drop a friendly reminder that we become healthy from the inside out, keep in mind I understand ED and the issues related with it, but... Women, especially strong, couragous women like you and I ;-) need to nourish ourselves throughout. Both internally and externally. You're doing great by surrounding yourself with love and positive peole :-) now, just a few healthy and sustaining snacks a day and we'll be almost there!

Keep up the hard work Chick-a-dee! You're doing great! And when you feel that chin dropping, know that you've got friends, including myself that are only seconds away :-)

PTC said...

New Year's Eve is so overrated anyway. Stay home and cuddle with the little guy. Last year I ran a race at midnight. I usually just stay home and go to bed. It's safer that way. Stay away from the drunks on the roads.

Stay strong!

quintarantino said...

My unknown and yet big friend... I read the first lines and decided... ok... straight to the comment part... so please you listen very carefully to this bloke writing far away... where did you get the crazy ideia no one cares? Of course, we all care... even the ones next to you every single day care... you know why? 'Cause you´re a greta person. That's why. So please be happy and take great care with you, please.