Last night all I can say is WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had one of the hardest nights in a long time but luckily I was able to get through it without purging AT ALL thanks to the help of my sweet new friend Jade, wink wink thank you babe!!!!
Work is ok pretty busy which is good but ready for another long weekend that's for sure!
I really do not know what is going on in my life with men, frankly I am sick of them and due to my "issue" I don't know where I stand in my life at all!
I have gotten so many flat out disgusting text messages and emails from a few people who I thought were better than that. I don't know what I do to people to deserve to be talked to that way, I don't even respond to these messages, I don't get it but it seriously makes me feel like a piece of meat and I am not even into the whole man thing at all right now.
Also I got a text from M yesterday actually several, we chatted a bit and he kept saying how much he missed me as a friend and did not want me to be mad at him anymore, he said that he was sorry for the way that he had acted but I really don't buy it. You do not treat someone shity over and over and then simply say sorry and expect someone to just say "oh it's ok!!" NO F'ng way dammit! I'm over it! I told him I was not mad at him but that I had to think alot about us being friends. I mean honestly why would I want to be friends with someone who treats me like shita! I deserve more don't I?
He wanted me to call him last night but I did not think it was a good idea so I did not do it. And guess what I have not heard from him so I'm sure he was trying to hook up or pull some bs like that but I'm not falling for it again!!!!!!!
I"M OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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8 comments:
Hey
Hey HEy!!!
SOrry you have had a crappy weekend... but at least you have been able to control your temptation to purge.. I'm proud of you!!!!!!
Ditch him for good, you deserve to be treated like gold!
So I have to ask girly...whats the rush with "having" a man right now? You're at the beginning of a "life make-over" which is probably....hopefully...cause some "standard" raising. So...I say "whats the rush darlin?" Take this time to get yourself to where you want to be and who you want to be, or at least on the right track. At that point I see it being an ideal time to start dating. That way you've got an idea on which direction you want to go in life and what that will require, and at the same time you can look for someone who will support you in doing so.
Here's a little advice my grandma told me when I was young that has stuck with me. She said "If you hang around terds long enough you start to smell like one."
So..with that said Ms. Lauren, you and you alone know if who your hanging around is a terd, and terds tend to always smell...rarely ever changing into a pleasant smell.
So..maybe its time to clean yourself off, "de-smell" (lol) yourself and give it a CLEAN start.
LOL hope you appreciate the Terd analogy. hee hee!
Stay strong girly, you're doing so good, and are totally on the right track.
Sweet Jade,,,,,,hahaha this comment so made me laugh!!! I love it, and in answer I'm really in no rush, issues are in my head right now and honestly I know I deserve more than what I have settled for! I just want to be free and loved and dammit it is so hard to find any person who can or is willing to do both!!!!
xoxo sweet friend!
Well, you gotta start requiring freedom and love from yourself before you can expect it from others girly. Small steps. You'll get there and will find what you're looking for when its done in the right order. ;-) Be right with you first! :-D
Thanks for appreciating the "terd talk"
And remember, small steps will get you further than 2 steps forward, 2 steps back..
Jade simply put I'm impatient, not in the whole other people in my life but when it comes form me having to focus on me. I want to feel like I am just fine!!! I just want to have someone love me for who I am, now and who I will be in the future! Ok its lame I know but I just was to...... wait a min maybe I am finding that and I did not even realize it!!! hmmmmmmmmmm
Hmm...just think it through. Get in the right direction, take your time with EVERYTHING in life as best as possible, and you just might see that its easier to spot and snag the person you want for you. Just give yourself time to "cover some ground" and heal from the past and your "issue". You might be a different person when you come out of it all... :-)
I know you are right Jade but I just don't know if my issue will ever come out! Not sure I want it ti ever come out or even if there really is even an issue,,,,,hahaha did that make any sense at all to you?????? You so have no idea what kind of a friend you are getting your self involved with! I don't even get me most of the time!!!sorry
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