Feeling completely out of sorts today and a bit sad! Out of sorts because I usually am totally happy at work but this week I have been completely annoyed! I am beginning to feel like no one gives a f about what I do here, I bust my ass and for what, the pay is ridicules and the jobs I get are no where near my description, my raise was pathetic and I have been lied to since the day I started about my full time status! I wish a miracle would just fall into my lap for once!
Ok enough complaining about that.
Now what I am sad about!
Blogging, I know every ones blog is there own deal but I feel sad, like so many people are leaving and I know people have to live their lives the way that is best for them and I wish everyone who is leaving the best I am just sad at the way this world seems so quite all of the sudden!
Sort of feel like maybe it would be in my best interest to take a break but to be honest with you I don't want to so I'm not going to! SO THERE who's left and interested in reading is stuck with me!~!
Had a chat with a gf of mine yesterday that things have been pretty weird with for the last several weeks, and it went really good, so I am totally happy about that. Her and I just needed to clear the air which we should have done weeks ago, weird how our minds play tricks on us when we feel our defences go up! I hate where I go in my life when that happens!!!
Having really bad body issues right now, I avoid the mirror and all expense, and will not even do my makeup in a regular size mirror! It is pretty lame I know but shit my weight is out of control and I don't know why, I'm lucky if I eat 1 meal a day!
Ugh I'm so not in the mood for this right now!!!!
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4 comments:
Wow, you sure do sell yourself short missy. You mention all the things you "don't get" or "aren't good at", or "don't like", while forgetting to mention all the really positive things you're creating for yourself. Like...lets say for instance...you mentioning that you've recently lost some blogger pals. Well haven't you also made a few new ones? Wink Wink...
And how you're actually noticing that you have body image issues instead not acknowledging it and just living it like so many people do.. Noticing is huge! Its the first step to changing sistah! And there's a first step to EVERY process..
Ohhh I've got stories of my own...lol, but I'll save them for coffee ;-)
You're beautiful girly. You really are, inside and out. Your efforts show. I see them, others see them, and they matter, and above all else, they are getting you somewhere. Just keep on keepin on and you'll find a place that is comfortable. I promise. It takes tons of work, and lots of patience and self care, but you can get there. I'm living proof!
Our symptoms might not be the same, but our journey is parallel..
Believe that you can do it. We all do...
:-)
Oh, Lauren, not again... come on, little one. Try to see things for the bright side.
Your are stuck on a lousy job? Getting badly paid? No full time? The boss is a son of his mother (I can't say the other one in front of a lady like you)?
Well, but you are working and getting paid.
Try to get the best out of it and meanwhile, telling nobody try to see if there is another job out there for you.
But that's how those guys go, you know. There and here.
As for blogging and that stuff, I guess some people get tired of doing it, others are more worried now with Christmas and that... but, hey, I'll stick with you. Perharps I'm not the best of blogging friends but you bet your money on this: every time I can, I'll be around sending some words to you.
As for the rest, glad things are better now with that gf. of yours and as for the rest of the stuff, as far as I have been allowed to see if Lauren is no good with that body, then I don´t know what is good...
I'm having bad body issues too. And it HURTS! I hear you. I know it's hard, and somehow it makes everything seem harder. I'll hang on, if you will.
love you
Sarah
Jade has some good points (goodness knows we ALL do that--that is how we got here!). Be nice to your sweet self, treat yourself to a haircut and fun Christmas activities with your family.
I understand how you feel about blogging, too. Totally!
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