Day after Christmas somewhat blues~

I really did not think the Christmas would be as hard as it was, it was really hard. I reminded me of the Christmas I had before I went into treatment the first time! It was so overwhelming, Ham, potatoes, cornbread, deserts were unreal, but ok I'm going to stop do not want to trigger. I had a few mishaps throughout the day. ( I like that word, mishaps, feels so much better than slips.)
Christmas with Little C was amazing, he passed out a bit early on X-mas eve but I still read him "Night before Christmas" then he woke up and we left Santa Cookies and Juice considering Little C hates Milk and refused to let him have it!!!! Then Christmas am, he was so excited and totally overwhelmed, he got SOOOOOO much, I and my mom went a bit overboard but it was all worth it, just now dreading bringing it home because I know my roomies little ones will take over and Little C has a really hard time sharing, which shit can you blame him, it is his Christmas pressies!! also all of there toys get to mixed, I'm gonna hate it when I decide to move out!!!
Then we went to my aunts which was really hard and really different with out my Nana, but we all made the best of it! This time instead of giving gifts we all decided to donate to our favorite Charity! Most of us chose the Hospice considering we dealt with them because of my Nana and they were simple put FUCKING AMAZING!!!! I also did a bit to St. Jude's, I think they are a wonderful organization and no child is every turned away, how can you beat that!! Then we did an amazing White Elephant gift exchange!!!
Got home really late, and was actually going to bring little C into work today but we ended up being on time so all worked out ok!!!

Time to hit up my "issue again" still not ready to go into details but I need to chat about it again, it is so weird I go in and out about how I feel on a daily basis. There has been someone in my life that brings up stuff for me and not really in a positive way, makes me think about it even more, due to the stuff that he says to me and how disgusting it makes me feel. He is someone that I had been texting and dating for a bit and maybe you remember him from before I went into treatment, he was ok maybe not fair to say but he had a huge contribution to my relapse due to him being so intense! He was making a few flirtatious comments which were fun to play with but once I made a comment back like "Who is this this new F" he went WAY OVERBOARD" I mean it was all kind of disgusting. I swear I don't even know who the hell he is because anytime I say I like or don't like something he changes into that person. Shit he is 38 and still doing this stuff. I sent him a Merry Christmas Eve message and on Christmas got this WHOLE HUGE SEXUAL MESSAGE, with not even a Merry Christmas... 4 pages long, I mean are you kidding me pervo!!! I just wrote back....
(........Merry Christmas) I'm supposed to have coffee with him this week but hell no that is not happening. Just makes me realize that all or the "issue" that I am having is and may be so much more real than ever before!! I don't know confusion is a freaking (fucking bitch!!)!
Moving on!
My mom gave me the most amazing gift it was that picture I posted from the snow day with Chance, where he is on my lap and looking straight ahead with my head turned it was in a frame with that was engraved, with the most amazing saying! I cried like the biggest freaking baby, god I love my little man more that anyone will ever know!!!!!

Ok well done for now hope every one's Christmas was super fabulous!!!!!!

MUAH MUAH