Friday, March 30, 2007

Would you like some cookies with your milk?

I live for fridays, and today is no exception. It is so beautiful out right now, I cannot imagine living anywhere other than CA. I woke up this morning feeling actually pretty damn good for the first time in a while, not sure what brought on the change in my normal grumpy morning routine but I excepted the change without any problem. I slept like complete poo which is even more weird but hey when I have a good morning that is something to celebrate.
Work is really slow today in fact it is so slow that my boss actually came and asked me to go to the store and buy her some freaking milk! Can you believe that? I totally started laughing at her request and agreed to do it, shit what was I gonna say...NO? Haha
Whatever it gets me out of work for a bit.
I'm really looking forward to this weekend, I'm going with my mom to a few of her friends house on the lake for a cookout which that part sucks but the company of others will totally be enjoyed. I'm also looking forward to spend the time with my mom she is so worried and she needs to be mom for a while! I just got a text from my gf E who said she just ran into my mom this am and the coffee house and I asked how she was and she said very worried. E is in her 4th year of law school and actually works at a law office in our town and she said that she wants to review all of my hours and employee handbook for me to make sure that if I go into IP I will not lose my job. I told her I would bring it to her!
I'm really tired of people in my life talking about me behind my back, it is getting really old really fast! I feel like a child who has completely lost grip with everything and that makes me have an even stronger grip on my eating issues than ever! I have to have something that I can be in charge of even if it is this.
I want to go swimming...
I want to be on the lake...
I want to take c to the park...
I want to laugh out loud...
I want to laugh so hard that it makes tears run down my face...
I want to have ice-cream with c and not freak out...
I want to be a good mom...
F that I want to be a great mom...
I want to be in love...
I want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's in my pj's...
I want to be healthy...

God how demanding am I?

11 comments:

sarah said...

Lauren,
I don't think you're demanding at all! Those are all great things to want, and things that you totally deserve, and things that I know you will have. Really.

It is a beautiful day today, isn't it!

love lulu

Anonymous said...

Not demanding at all! You deserve all those things, and more. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

lauren said...

Sarah- Thank you, I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well
xo lauren

lauren said...

lulu,
It so is a beautiful day!!! I love these sunny afternoons!
I hope I can have all of those things!!! You deserve such happiness!
love lauren

æ said...

Not demanding--you have goals! Go for it! I totally see you there Lauren, I know you will make it. (And if you're having ice cream and laughing until you cry can I come too??)

love,
ae

lauren said...

haha ae- you are always invited!!!!
Your the first one I will tell when I have that treat!
love lauren

PTC said...

Hey Lauren, people are only talking about you behind you're back because they are worried. They're not trying to be caddie (sp?), they just want to make sure you're going to be okay.

Mary said...

I totally agree-not demanding whatsoever! I want all those things too!

Feisty Frida said...

Not demanding, in fact that list is MOST attainable...once you get help and get healthy again, all those things will be yours. I promise.

Love
FF

lauren said...

PTC-
I know you are right and I know they are worried, but I still hate it because it makes me feel like such a child! Make sence?

DG-You so deserve them!
xo lauren

FF-Thank you for all of you continuing (god I cannot spell for shit) support!!
love lauren

PTC said...

Makes sense.