Monday, March 5, 2007

Ink on my leather couch "Are you kidding me"!

SO I just looked and the mirror because the side of my mouth was kind of sore and realized that it is cut! I was really not surprised considering the way this weekend went for me. Friday evening was ok I ended up going to a candle party at my gf's house. We had a really nice time and drank a few to many mimosas. It was nice though I miss girl talk with my oldest friend. I opened to her a bit about what had been going on with me. Not to much but it is pretty obvious that something is up because of my weight! She has gone through all of this before with me and if anyone will listen and not judge it is her. I love you S! I know she does not even know this blog is even happening but I just felt it!
I went back to my moms house to hang with C and my mom later that night and that was really nice. My mom is missing my little man so much! She is going crazy not having him there with her all the time!
Saturday was hard I finished moving all of my stuff and finally got settled which was sooooooo nice. I brought little C to the house and he was ok but man that sure did not last long. He has been so outta control lately and I know that it is mainly because he is not feeling settled but my god what is a single mom to do? He is being so rough with me hitting, not listening to anything I say and actually got a pen and drew all over my new leather couches. AHHHHHHHHH I wanted to cry! I feel like I have been yelling at him a lot to and that is so not me. I am not that kind of a mom, but it has been happening quite a bit and I feel like complete shit about it. I vowed today that there was not going to be anymore yelling. I'm gonna do everything in my power to hold onto and fulfill that.
Any good suggestions to the ink out of leather issue???????
Food wise on Saturday well lets just say I tried. Not hard enough I guess but I did try! Yesterday however was a completely different story! I swear I think I need to get out on the weekends more because all I seem to do is b/p when I'm home!
It must have happened 5 or 6 times, much more than normal and that scares the shit out of me! I was losing it and sometimes I feel like I am losing.
Although I did get on the scale to see that I had lost another 1.5lbs which is ok with me! a few more wont hurt!
Although my body does ache pretty bad today from moving all of those boxes! Well good thing is that it is done for now!
Man for some reason I'm really missing my dad today! He went to Vegas for like 5 days. I don't even see him very often but I'm missing him tons today!
Work is ok, busy for the most part which is good although it has not kept me off the scale or out of the bathroom! Why do I do this? I have to say though in some strange way it helps with the guilt to be able to write this stuff down. Oh ya one other small confession, I took a couple hits of of a cig last night for the first time in over 3 years. Good thing was that it tasted like complete shit and made me feel so lightheaded so I guess it is a good thing that I got that out of the way! No more urge I hope!
Did not end-up going on that date on Saturday with the hottie E. My little man has asthma and it started to act up so I canceled it and hung out with him which was nice no matter how naughty he was being! Gonna see him on Thursday. I think I'm gonna cook which should be quite interesting considering all I know how to make is boxed mac and cheese, rice cakes with cottage cheese and pancakes. What to do what to do!

3 comments:

Feisty Frida said...

Ok, don't take this the wrong way, but when I read to title to this post, I burst out laughing, hard. Little E did the same to MY PARENT'S very expensive leather couches....if I had done that as a child, my life would've been over...they didn't even get mad at him!!! My dad blamed himself for leaving the pen out!!!!!!!

Your little man has asthma....poor little honey!!! :( I'm glad you canceled and spent that time with him when it was acting up, you're such a great mom!!!!

As for your struggles this weekend, when you fall, just make sure you fall forward....

Love
Frida

lauren said...

Frida,
Well I would never take that the wrong way because for the first time since it happened you actually made me laugh about it so thank you for that~
I agree my butt would have been so blue after something like that. Your dad is probably right though I did leave the pen out! Damn!
The asthma has been so hard but we are doing all we can to figure out the cause, hoping it is allgery induced so that we will be able to hopefully do something for him. Just set up the appt for allergy testing.
He is such a brave little man though, sits like such a grownup and holds his mask to his face while doing his breathing treatments!!! He blows me away!
Hey thanks again for reminding me to laugh!
With love
Lauren

Feisty Frida said...

Little sweatheart...