Time for another post and my god after catching up on all my reading I feel like complete shit even thinking about all of my issues, they are so minimal when it come to other out there, first off Jen all of my positive thoughts are sent your way. I feel so terrible for her and I hope that she is ok.
As for others one of whom I hope will read this, I hope you will be able to take complete advantage of the opportunity that has been put in front of you because god dammit you are worth more.
As for me well this was a very difficult weekend and after working my other job yesterday I completely fell apart, I'm so tired both mentally and physically, and I have no idea what to do anymore, my head is all over the place and it hurts ALL the time. My jaw is hurting like you would not believe, I was diagnosed with TMJ about 10 years ago and these last few months have really put a strain on it and has made me completely crazy, I'm feeling angry so much and my patience is at a minimum with everyone and everything.
I called to make an appt with my therapist yesterday and she got me an appt on Thurs which i realized I am not ready for but have not other option but to go and to get help. My dad brought up IP again yesterday and said all would be taken care of if that was where we decided to go with all of this, but I cannot do that to him or myself again, I refuse!
I have also found a group to go to tomorrow and to be honest with you I'm really looking forward to that! My step mom is going to go with me (god knows she needs to be there to)!
I am grateful that she wants to be there with me though!
I'm feeling like such a heifer today and it is making me want to b/p so freaking bad..I hate this urge, I want it gone!!!! Breathe Lauren Breathe
So had my somewhat double date on Sat and it was really a lot of fun, F showed up with these cute pressies for my gf E and I and then we went to dinner which I actually was able to run off and purge thank god cuz I felt like shita! We went to the bar after and I think I had a bit to much to drink, I was wasted to say the least!!!! We had fun though, I danced like a complete fool. The only bad thing was that I was checking out this other guy that was there that I have met on several occasions, he came and gave me a hug and asked if that guy I was with was my bf and I said no, (cuz he is not) !!!!! I stand by that!!! Why can't I commit?
Oh well at work and actually need to get some of it done! Is it nap time yet?
By the way my little man is amazing, my dad got him a new bike yesterday and my god 2 1/2 and he is all over the place on it! He leaves me speechless daily!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Hey Lauren,
I'm glad you made an appointment. Hopefully this will help you begin to sort things out. I wish all the best for you and it makes me sad that you are suffering so much.
Hey Lauren,
I'm glad you've got some appts. coming up too. Take care of you!
And your little boy is totally adorable!
DG
Thanks ptc and DG,
hopefully I will keep them!!!
AHHHHHH
xo Lauren
great job, Lauren!!
Okay seriously, did none of them jump out at you as the right one? that's okay if not, just curious. :)
breathe, lauren, breathe. You are working on the hard part--that's why it's so tough! You can make it--we all see it in you.
love,
ae
ae,
Actually I have your message printed out infront of me right now and Crab Apple is the one that really stuck with me. I looked them up online and Im going tomorrow night!
You are such great for that info oh and much more!!
love lauren
Crab Apple:
"For feelings of shame, uncleanliness, or a poor self-image. This essence teaches acceptance of the body and the environment, and is also used as a physical cleanser." "This remedy purifies wounds, from the category of Despondency or Despair."
I think of it like "Lauren, let me help you start over." Know what's so cool about essences? It doesn't give you anything you don't already have--it pulls out your best, strongest, inherent traits and helps you feel like a better YOU.
And now, purely because it's so stinkin' fun, the animal version of crab apple:
"Detoxification, too many vaccinations. Shame around body image, abused animals that had to live in filth, then develops obsessive behavior, cats that lick obsessively." "Crab Apple is an important remedy for cats. Being fastidious creatures, cats often develop obsessive-compulsive grooming habits. A cat may lick a front leg raw, or chew all the fur off her tummy. A few cats concentrate on the area at the base of the tail, or even suck the tail itself. These are generally self-comforting behaviors taken to an extreme. Crab Apple is a wonderful remedy for these cats."
Also, I just noticed that Crab Apple is in Rescue Remedy, which is a combo of 5 Flower Essences that is supportive through a lot of things. You may just go with that, if it feels right, and it might be easier to find even. It would be called "Rescue Remedy" by "Bach Flower Essences."
Lauren, are you a groomer? I have a cat like that, just lick-lick-lick. :) I hope that if you do decide to get some crab apple, you feel like it supports you. Please let me know!
love,
ae
ae, you just make me smile! I love the animal side although sad but true I am not a cat lover, I know... how is that?? I think I am a bit of a groomer though and basically I'm freaking tired of it!!!!!!
That was the site I looked up the nurse here told me about it!!! Funny!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I'm gonna do some more reading and decide for sure, I will so let you know!!!
Have a great night ae!
love lauren
YOU CAN DO IT, Lauren. Thanks for all of YOUR support!!
Oh, I have rescue remedy. It's sitting in my car and I never use it. Whoops, I forgot I had it.
Heyo Lauren,
Sounds like on of those more awful weeks:( A big hug! And you know it is completely ok to be angry or pissed off at the world. I have been there!!!!! Hey maybe the world deserves it! Sometimes the world can be a jerk ya know!
A quick question about your IP and not wanting to put your dad through that. I had a lot of guilt about the $$ my parents spent on therapy...is it that? Just wondering cause you know that he loves you and wants you to be around for your little boy right?
Or maybe it is something else...btu just so you know I have been there with the guilt etc and it is NO FUN. My heart goes out to you.
Congrats of the support group etc. and for your Step mom for going too!
Big Hug
Esp
Good luck:)
PTC,
I'm actually thing about the rescue remedy will see, have you tried it at all?
Thank you for you support as well!!!
xoxo lauren
Esp,
Honestly it is not about the money because IP would be cover through the Military but maybe it is a bit too because if Im not working he would have to cover all my bill and so yeah I guess your right! I can't allow that! I also cannot risk losing my job, it is such an amazing one and I don't want it to be over!!!!!!!!!
You are so sweet thank you for your words,,,,,guilt SUCKS!!!!
Love Lauren
I did try it, Lauren. I didn't notice any difference.
Post a Comment