Ok so here is the latest.............
Made appt this am for 8am Monday to see the Dr. that I do not like, I figure I cannot be picky right now.
Nervous but I simply cannot deal with the emotional shit right now.
Second, I need to get this off my chest because it is just to painful to carry around anymore.
M and I decided to be "really" done on Monday night,,,, to long of a story to tell but ultimately I found out what a coward he really is. He told me that he did not want me around his daughter...........
CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT?????????????????
He knows nothing of what I have been dealing with,,, well minus the past and he said that he just cannot find the strength to tell her that daddy is dating mommy's friend............................. WHAT A FUCKING cop out!
He went into this whole crying bullshit about how the single man wants this so badly but that the dad in him is to scared that is will hurt little A!
Now I need you to see that I totally get the whole protect your child thing but come on who is the adult here. I never even brought up being around her even though I have already been a thousand times.... She knows me and loves me!
Whatever,,,,,,I just wanted and needed to vent,,,,I told him I have never been told something so hurtful, and the truth is I HAVE NOT! It made me feel like a whore, like a secret that could not be revealed....
Oh well it just confirmed my feeling on other issue that has been a huge struggle for a very long time!!
Ugh I wish I could see my Dr. today!!!!!!!
Thank you all of you for your words, and support, I would be lost without you!
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6 comments:
Hun, I'm so sorry to hear about what you were faced with, and even more sorry that your heart is hurting and I'm too far away to give you a hug.
I am however proud of you for realizing that you don't need or deserve a wishy washy man or person in your life.
It looks like your taking steps to get things worked out in life. Like by making the hard Dr. appointments, letting yourself vent, and respecting yourself enough to know you don't need to be with someone that won't stand by you. For all that I am proud of you. Non of that is easy. So keep that chin up girl and keep on keepin on. And never forget that you are thought about every day.
wow . . . these are big, hard steps you're taking! I'm proud of you. you deserve a better life than this pain you've been sitting in, you deserve to be healthy and happy.
love you sweet sister. I'm here for you all the way.
xoxo
Sarah
I am so sorry, hun. Why is it that men always expect sympathy when we're the ones who're being hurt? You deserve much better. If he can't "man up", then he doesn't deserve as wonderful a woman as you in his life.
Remember you are great and strong ... no one can bring you down.
Easter Greetings.
Oh, Lauren. M is just flat out misguided on this and you have every right to feel hurt and betrayed. It clearly shows that he does not have the type of character you need and deserve. If he is using the ED as the reason to not be around daughter, well that is just shitty on all levels. He's known about your struggle for a while. He had no business stringing you along. But I guess that is what they do. I've so been there, and am so sorry you are dealing with it.
I am sooo proud you called a doctor. Really really. I can't wait to hear your voice tonight. Call me whenever you have time.
hey there...i don't know the whole history of this man and your story together...but i'm so sorry to hear this latest development. i find that, again and again, relationships are SO effing hard...and the way you broke up sounds so painful - because it also involves another human being. i can only imagine how difficult this has been...
but sometimes, the pain that's caused when you break things off is worth the relief and pleasure you'll eventually feel when the sad part starts to wear off...and you start to pick yourself up and put yourself back together and want to love and be loved again productively...
i hope this is the case, anyway.
you deserve to be with someone who worships you, unconditionally.
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