Thursday, March 13, 2008

2 days worth!

Being able to simply breathe is the most amazing feeling ever. I have not felt it in quite awhile now though. I talked with the charge nurse I work with today about taking something for my anxiety but still a complete mess when the reality of doing it comes to surface.
I have had some legal issues going on that I'm not really into going into right now so that has made things with me even worse. Hopefully after a meeting I had yesterday with the legal pigs, things will calm down, not holding my breath though.
Food-god what is the deal, I feel so guilty when I eat, I feel guilty when I don't and I feel guilty when I binge and purge...... guilt is horrible.
My charge nurse is going to check with her therapist to see if the accept VA insurance, he is not an ED specialist but I do not really think that is important right now I just think I need to see SOMEONE!
Time is of the essence right?
***************************************
So just getting back to this post that I started yesterday.....
Anxiety is a bit over the top for a Friday but what the hell am I to do?? I have to say though certain messages (you know who you are) have put my head else where which is truly a blessing and such a relief!

Looking so forward to spending a nice long weekend with Little C......He has been such a good boy lately, well for the most part he always is but hey he is 3 1/2 and I guess he is allowed some meltdowns like his momma.
I had to take him to the Dr. on Monday for some hair loss and have been really worried about that but they gave me a topical steroid to put on it for a few weeks so hoping things will get better soon. I hate him having to go through anything like this. So not fun. I don't think he feels anything from it but still makes me sad to think of anything bothering his sweet little self!
Planning my St. Patty's night out.......might not be such a good idea but god knows I can sure use a few (lots) of green beer!!!!!!
That day is also my ex's B-Day so anything to keep my mind off of them the better...Those damn "whatif's"!!!

Sending you all such big huge massive hugs and wishes for an amazing weekend!!!!!
xoxoxo Lauren

10 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Yum...St Patrick's Day green beer is the cure to what 'ales' us all. Wish I could have a (few) green beer(s) with you...ugh, but I'm working.

Glad you are going out honey. It will be lots of fun.

Give your boy a kiss and hug for me...poor little guy. Luckily he has a fabulous mother. :)

Thank you for the big huge massive hug...and wishes. Sending kisses and wonderful thoughts your way. Enjoy your weekend.

lauren said...

Spiky
Right back at you babe!!!!
Smiling so big!!!!

lauren said...

LULU- if you get this please know how much I think about you and am always wondering how you are sweets!!!
Thank you for checking in on my so much!!
I love you sweet sister and please know I so need that sunshine you send to me babe!
xoxo lauren

sarah said...

lauren!!! I can't tell you how big I'm smiling after reading this note to me here. I really really really needed it tonight. Having just a superbly crappy night but this made it a little better.

thanks love - have yourself a beautiful, beerfilled st patty's night out and a great relaxing weekend.

lots and lots of xoxoxoxo
lulu

jo said...

hey you ...I hope all is well on your end..getting ready to head out to CA..yeah your neck of the woods...We are staying in Laguna beach and in Beverly hills for one night. we will also be going to Disneyland...I am so excited we leave on Monday and come home on easter. You should join the community so you can read my blog there.. i seem to post more there.. i am actually gonna change my blogspot blog to be a blog on the community and what is going on with events ans so on .. well I just wanted to wish you a happy Patty's day and Happy Easter... and send some hugs and love..
Robert

PTC said...

Hey Lauren,

Glad you talked the nurse. I hope that guy takes your insurance. I'm glad you are following up on this!

Jade said...

Well whatever "things" you've got going on, I'm hoping you're taking time to talk to "H". See how she's really doin...ya know?

Been thinking about you lots lately, but don't know if I'm what you need in your life right now. But...please know that I'm always here on the sidelines if ya need me. And that you and C are in my thoughts and prayers.

Soledad said...

Hey L,

Sounds like things are a little crazy for you right now! I am sorry but it sounds like you are doing what you need to do to deal! I think that is amazing. If there is ANYTHING I can do let me know. I am thinking about you and i hope you have a fantastic night tonight!

xo

Sole

Sarah said...

morning beautiful . . . I hope things work out with teh therapist, if they don't though is there any chance you might go back to the woman you were seeing before? I forget her name.

xoxo sweet sister.

Mary said...

I hope little C is just fine and just needs that treatment! Keep us posted.

I'm so glad you are talking to the nurse and hope something comes of the therapist contact. And I so know what you mean about guilt--no matter which way the food thing goes right now there seems to be no "right" way to go.

Hugs to you, I guess we just keep hanging in there together for now!
DG