I think this is the longest I have gone in a while without leaving a post......actually it was a much needed 4 day break haha, I so have just not been in the right frame of mind to do it lately.
I swear things have been so weird for me in my head. One minute I think I'm doing the right thing and the next minute I am corrected, sometimes it feels like you are never good enough. Ya get me?????
Even sitting here I'm not sure what/if I have anything to talk about. There is this huge mind FUC& that is going on in my head and this wall that has grown to be pretty damn tall and I'm struggling with making it over to the other side. Not sure what to do. I feel like I'm starting to shut people out which is what I do when I start to feel overwhelmed with myself. I would rather play the happy card all the time and not have to face the issues that lay in front of me. I know I have to and I will when it is time for ME to face them and when I am ready to do it but until then I'm gonna sit here and make it through the way I have for the last 30 years..... I process, I talk, I feel, I laugh, I cry...I do all that shit but at times it just feels like its not quite enough and it is in those times that I am so grateful for right here right now.
Little C is great,,, had to take my quilt to the laundry mat last night because it will not fit in my washing machine so he came with me,,,,,OMG, please someone remind me to NEVER EVER do that again.... It was so not the scene in a movie where someone finds there total hottie at "Laundry World" quite the opposite actually.......It was like a daycare and my child was the only one there haha CRAZY!
SO $50 later from those damn toy and candy machines we made our way home only to be in bed so freaking early,,,,,,,seriously like 8:00. Get a life Lauren!
I'm really excited about tomorrow, I have a date with one of my gf's actually the one I joined the military with. Napa watch out here we come!!!! Love you N!!
Lots o wine and she has a 5 month old that I have only seen a few times...Such a beauty!!!! Oh wait theres a pic up to taha I'm such a goof!
Ok well sending all of you amazing weekends, hopefully you have a long one but if not take advantage of the time you do have and pamper you!!! Muah Oh and I miss you my BBBF!!!!! Muah!
1 comment:
I think I covered most of this post in my email to you. Sending you tons of positive energy and thoughts.
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