New day New beginning

New day new time start over right?????
Well that is how I am trying to look at things today.
Had a bit of a rough time last night eating wise but made it through...I always do.
Had a wonderful thing happen today, I got to work and opened my email and to my surprise there was an email from my therapist from treatment,,,,,Lisa. I have been having so many angry feelings towards her as well as feelings of regret for being as open and honest with her that I was because I felt completely blown off by her. When I was in treatment I was more honest with her than anyone I have every met and I honestly fell in love with her not only as a person but as a friend. She helped me more than I can ever express and to feel abandoned by her is a feeling that I will never forget. I miss her so much and I miss the ability to be so honest with someone. I am as honest as I can possibly be here in this world and have made a new friend who I have also been able to open up to more than almost anyone in my life,,,you know who you are. I'm so grateful for that opportunity.
I'm really excited to because we have a date tomorrow to finally meet and that is so exciting for me. I will finally be able to give this amazing woman a hug who has helped me more in such a short period of time than I can express.
How lucky am I?
Anyways I was able to write Lisa back and filled her in on what has been going on with me, (well as much as I could) and already heard back from her. Gonna wait till Monday to reply so I can fill her in on my meeting with Jade and how my weekend went.
She told me that she still believes I should be in therapy which "I agree with" but said that she respects my decision and understands why I have chosen to not accept it at this time. She told me that no matter what she is on my side and always in my corner even if from afar.
I miss you Lisa I really do!
I hate that so much time has passed between us but I love that I have been able to get rid of the anger and neglect I have felt!
Little C and I are doing really good, he is such a gift and I am so lucky to have him as my son.. Love you bubba!
Looking at his smile right now as I write is such a wonderful feeling.
Talked to M like 2 times yesterday,, first time was because he pocket dialed me and the second was because he wanted to talk. I am happy that we can be friends but I don't know if I can honestly manage it. I feel like I have to act like this happy go lucky person and like I can not be completely true to myself with him because I am afraid he will go away again and make me feel like the weak person I once was with him and I refuse to do that again. So who knows what the deal is with that but I do know that is not in my cards and I'm happy with the current people I have chose to keep in my life.
Yippy for me tee hee!!
Anyways I'm attracted to way to many people in my life right now to even think about him in that way..plus I'm pretty sure he is somewhat seeing or talking to someone and he has made it pretty clear she is no Lauren haha poor girl hope she does not have to go through what I did. don't wish that on anyone,,ok I'm lying maybe one or two people I know. God I'm mean...
Whelp wishing all of you a wonderful weekend and love to all of you!!!
PS Hi sweet Quint, I love all of your messages and thank you for all of your support!!! muah xoxo!