okOkOK I'm so confused and stressed, my roomie is a total shit on a regular basis and I feel like I give in and say sorry only because I do not have it in me to fight every fucking day with her!!! I wish so badly that I could move out but I just cannot do that to Chance again! I have been so bad with blogging and like Sole said I have been feeling really guilty about it, I don't want to feel that way because this is my outlet and that is the last thing that I should feel when I come here to my world!!!
Eating wise things have not been so great, I struggle everyday and it never feels lighter,,,ok I'm lying some days it does but days like today it just feels so heavy!!! I ate a bagel this am and nothing since, and honestly I probably will not eat anything else because I do not want to purge and I know I will if I do eat anything else! GOD GO AWAY ED GO AWAY!!!!!!!!
Lost yet another friend, however I have not exactly told her,,,, I am just so darn sick and tired of being lied to by people. I ran into a friend of mine on Sat night and well long story with him but when I saw him I was a bit tipsy and totally lost it!! I cried for like 2 hours to him and he just gave it to me he went off about how shity I had been to him and all kinds of stuff, but I guess he needed to get it off his chest as well as I needed to say what I did.
Thank you N for your honesty!!! Sometimes that is just what I need!!
Ok so I'm sitting here at work doing what I need to do and all of the sudden I look down at my phone and I had missed a call......YEP THAT'S F'ng RIGHT "M" CALLED!!!
Ugh can you believe it? I had a feeling he might this week I ran into his roomie on Sat also,,,,god that is the shity part about being in my little small town!! What to do What to do????? Do I call back do I wait errrrrrrr I hate him! I'm just not gonna do anything until I know exactly what to do, ya know?
I wish he would just go away because he keeps coming back into my life ever so slightly and totally confusing the shit out of me, just when I start being happy again!!!
Ok so got a phone call from one of my blog buddies Jade last night!! She knows me way to well already and I had been texting a friend when she called, she did not tell me she was gonna do it she just did and I had no time to even think about it!! I answered and am so freaking happy I did because she is so my new buddy,,,,,,and made me laugh and smile so much our conversation was short and sweet due to having Chance with me and it being bath time but man I tell ya, this world has brought so many amazing people into my life and it really breaks my heart every time one of you goes away but I understand it I guess sometimes enough is enough right?
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4 comments:
Hey ,
Wow your blog is so addictive...I find my self trapped in it when I read it..it is so from the heart..I respect that ..admire that. I need to get more personal in mine I make that a after new years resolution....just got back from Joe's radio show and now I have to make Cheese steaks..I am sending hugs to you and ..YOU SAID IT YOURSELF...IS ENOUGH ENOUGH..? YOU WILL KNOW WHEN IT'S ENOUGH.
HEY I JUST ADDED A SONG TO MY SITE ..TAKE A LISTEN..
WWW.POZIAM.COM
Ok, so I don't know M, or anything about him, but I do know that it sounds like you're not happy to hear from him. So why you would even feel torn baffles me. If someone in your life makes you feel unhealthy or causes you to act in unhealthy ways, they're not worth having around.You're raising your standards now girly, remember? So anyone, be it friend or "friend with benefits" making you feel bad or bringing bad into your life, in my opinion, is not worth your time or energy.
Now I understand your roommate situation and why you can't move out. Financially it would be tough I'm sure, and C would have a bit of a time readjusting, but hopefully sooner or later you two will move out. Maybe its just something to keep on the back burner to ponder on your options.And you do have options. LOL just ask me, I'll tell you what they are! Hee!
XOXOXOX
Gee... girlie must you always feel like that? Once in a while, there comes something to f#*& your life up... Lauren, my most precious friend that I only know like this, you must find the guts inside you to say NO MORE!
Try starting doing that to something that puts you all freaked up and you'll see how good it feels.
Miss, you are a wondrful lady and I think you deserve the best. If the world doesn´t what to give it to you, start kicking some asses around.
One has the right to do so, you know?
Of course I know it's much easier to say rather than to do, but give it a try...
XXX
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