Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I need sleepy time!

I think its time yet again for another post!
I have had so much going on lately, fam emergency took me away on Thursday night (late) and not to return to Sat night! The unfortunate finally happened, I ran into M!!! I was with little c at the Classic Car Show in my town, and walked out of the bathroom to only turn around and see him in my face..... We both smiled and said hi,,,,, weird thing was his daughter was with him and totally started talking to me which felt nice, and f him because I am a good person.
AND SHE LIKES ME!
Saw my TMJ doc today went well but getting up at 5 for a 7am appt just does not work well with me, I was falling asleep the whole time! Meditation is not good to mix with being exhausted....
Been doing something the last few days and not sure why but it is really effing me up! I found a pro ana and mia site and I CANNOT stop reading it! I know I should but it is addicting and so effing triggering.
I need mad help!
My weight is back up 2 lbs, and its driving me nuts because I barely ever eat and when I do I purge. The only thing I seem to keep down it luna bars (lemon zest) yummy!
But no more than 1 a day due to the amazingly high calories in them 180!!!!! I don't even like to look at that number is makes me insane!

The upside to everything is I'm in good spirit's, well as much as I can be!!
I feel really ugly right now though which is hard. I hate those ugly days!
Well I feel like Im gonna fall asleep while typing this so to wake up a bit I'm gonna stop for now!!!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I'm out!

11 comments:

Mary said...

Hey sweets,
I guess it was bound to happen, running into M. Glad his daughter was so sweet to you. What a freaking loser he is.

Please find healthier sites to spend your time on... you are better than those things! I don't like you freaking out over just 180 calories.

Love you,
DG

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Lauren sweetie...180 calories??? There are other ways to work those calories out and more. YOU are beautiful babes...don't ever feel ugly. That is something you can never be.

I agree with disorderly girl...That dude is a loser. He let you slip through his fingers.

You be good to yourself and take care of you...for all of us. Because we love you sweetheart. :)

PTC said...

Hey Lauren,

So, what site is that?? Can you email it to me? Seriously!

You should really stay off it though. You have a little guy to take care of and he needs a healthy mommy.

Sarah said...

Stay off the site, goofy.

xoxo

love you

Jade said...

I've just got one thing to say about the triggering site. Its two words...and I'm famous in your eyes for them...I'll let you guess what they are.. ;-) If you know its unhealthy and causing more bad than good girly, don't read it. Or at least wait until you're in a good mental space to go.

As for seeing M, I'm glad it went as well as it did.

You've got a lot of good things in motion girly, keep your eye on the prize!

Anonymous said...

Miss, you stay out of that site!
Darn ... if it wasn´t for you and your visitors I could almost use a four letter word!

Now, can you please hear me for a bit?
I don´t know you for real, but of what I know and saw you are a very nice person and a lovely lady.
A little bit of extra here and there?
No purge, no little eating! That's nonsense.

You must eat many times a day but small amounts ... an apple here, a light salad, some grilled white meat or fish ... no fries, avoid fats, no sweeties, stop with cokes ... bla, bla, bla ... healthy food and then (I know, I know that it's cruel) of you go to to gym!

As for the rest ... a looser that let you go just like that? That guy is blind!

So you keep with everything up and cheerful on your life, ok?

Kissy, kissy.

Anonymous said...

So of you go ... you Sleeping Beauty!

Sarah said...

hey sweet sister xoxo

Mary said...

Hey beautiful,
Thanks for the update on my blog--I've been withdrawing some myself too, so I get it. Update us again soon--thinking of you and hoping you have a GREAT weekend.

Love,
DG

Carla said...

um, so like...i miss you. where ya been, girlie? and not answering your phone? hhhhmmmm. i'm worried.

sarah said...

hi sweetie,
thinking of you.
love,
lulu