Monday, June 30, 2008

I never thought a cell phone was so important until.....

I left it at my dads over the whole weekend!!!!
I was losing my mind. I hate people not being able to reach me nor me them!!! I missed out on chatting with Carla and DG and my sweet new friend Julia!!! I will be calling I promise!
This weekend was the first time in a few months that I actually laughed and meant it!
I went and finally saw Sex and the City (i know i know im late but oh well) with my mom, it was such a good thing for us to do since we have been so distant lately! I saw N on Friday and for the first time I saw Bob Sagat do stand up and honestly he is so effing dirty but god sooooooooooooooooooooo funny! I just wish I would have been wanting to be with N. The night ended not so great we started talking and he started crying and I left, no tears no sadness just guilt for not feeling anything!!! WTF is wrong with me?
Then after the movie on Sat my roomie went out, it was by far one of the funnest nights I have had with her in years,,, we left our comfortable town and headed out, so worth it! I get so sick of seeing all the same people who do nothing but talk shit and act like your friend to your face!
New people that is so the way to go...
I also went to another ANAD meeting and had the most powerful experience... to long to type but holy shit it made me feel so not alone in all of this shit.......Breathe that was what I did this weekend.... Yesterday I spent the day with little C and my roomies twins at the pool all day, (she was so hung over I laughed the whole time) it was so nice out, finally a blue sky after 2 weeks of smoke from all the fires!
Work still suck and so does eating! But hey thats life I guess!!!!!!

5 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Oh sweetie, you had a most wonderful time this past weekend. I did too but felt caged in...like a tiger in a cell. When visitors (family) are here to visit and I have to entertain...litteraly, it is no fun especially when I just wanted out. I wanted to be outside playing beach volleyball or riding my bike.

Sweetie...I don't think you should feel it's your fault you don't love someone. The best you can do is be honest with him and it looks like you are doing that. Dating doesn't have to lead anywhere. Just enjoying each other's company is what it is. Some guys and girls sometimes want more but you can only give what you have. Can't force love...the heart chooses. Love is magic. When two heart are meant to be together, there should be romance. That other person should make your heart dance inside of you. It's really not the moon light that thrills or delights you...it's the nearness of that other person that does that. When you hold then in your arms and you feel them so very close...you can then feel all of your wildest dreams come true.

Sweetie...you can only live your own life as best you can...they have to take care of their own as best they can too.

I wish for many many more days of smiles and laughter for you Heidi.
xoxoxoxo :D

Mary said...

I love reading all this, even the hard stuff. You deserve more and more weekends like this--laughter, family, friends. We all do!

Sorry we missed you--we are so dependent on phones now it is stupid!!

Love, love,
DG

Mary said...

P.S. Can't wait to hear more about the ANAD experience when/if you feel ready to share. :-)

Sarah said...

I love you sweet sister.

Anonymous said...

Now this I like to read ... and what should we learn from here? Loosing our cell phone makes great weekends!