Well so much for not knowing my name,,,well to those of you that do not already!!!!
It has been a busy and down right crazy week.
So much has been going on... I have another ANAD meeting on Sat thank god,,, I swear it is the only place I can vent anymore!! I went to one last night also!!!
Little C is doing great but N and I not so much!
I am pulling back like I do with all men well minus M the one I wanted and ugh f him heehee~~
Anyways he is so sad and being so patient but what I have figured out this week is that I have really BIG I mean HUGH commitment issues!!!! I am terrified of it... again it its not with M I just don't want it!!
N keeps telling me I am breaking his heart and it makes me feel heartless cuz I have NO feelings about it!!! This is what happens when my ED takes over,,,, I want nothing but what I want!!!! I did a very bad thing.....VERY BAD!!!!! Yes I saw M! Ugh wtf is wrong with me!!!!!!!! I know that until I am willing to face the fact that I really did love him than I will always deal with this!!!!!
OK enough I am a royal mess and all I can do is laugh!!!! I want to blow kisses to my sweet sweet friend!!! Sweet dreams!!!!!!!!!
Love you all so much you all make it so much easier to simply try to live and deal!!!! muah!
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8 comments:
Hi Heidi...can I call you Heidi from here on? Well at least here. Hehehe.
Sweetie, You just do the best you can. Sometimes it's small steps that get us where we want to be.
You know I will always be on your side...cause you rock. You're fabulous...and so very dreamy.
Have a wonderful evening and sweet dreams tonight. Have a wonderful Friday and weekend.
xoxoxox
heidi,
hang in there dear friend and soak in all the ANAD support. you deserve so much support and holding, you really do.
love,
ae
Hon, have you considered that maybe your commitment issues are nothing but a fear of being loved?
And I have been on that nasty roller coaster ride with one of my past loves (Eejit) and I can tell you that if you keep going back to someone who's already hurt you, it's just going to make things worse.
It doesn't matter how much you love someone, if they keep breaking your heart, no amount of effort is going to change that.
Do you think you could maybe do me a favour and allow yourself the chance for something greater?
Much love and keep going to those ANAD meetings! I'm glad you've found a place where you're safe.
i think the irony of relationships is that they're never easy. never. somehow it's conveyed to us that they ARE easy -- that they somehow just fall seamlessly into place. but in reality, they're slippery and messy and sometimes unpredictable. go easy on yourself, girl. one day at a time. xoxo
Hang in there, chica! Okay!?
Now ... am I to call you Laur or Heide? Hum ... who cares ... I 'll just keep calling you Honey Sweet ... I'm glad you are trying to put somethings into the right path but also very worried with that M, C, D stuff ... one of these it will be ZZ TOP (ok, this was a stupid joke, sorry) ...
Honey Sweet, have you ever heard that song that says that all we need is give peace a chance? Well, put love in it instead of peace ...
And never forget relations aren´t meant to be plain, simple and easy ... not even on fairy tales. We got to fight and I'm pretty sure you are a damn hard fighter ... but maube you just need a push in the right direction ... so, if you can´t have M why not give a good try with C?
We missed you so much this weekend. Did you get our message?
Hugs,
C
Hey Missy! Sorry I've been M.I.A. for a bit. It was necessary. Good to see that you're still blogging, but I'm sorry life is throwing you hurdles. Its never easy jumping them but you get stronger. I mean shit look at track stars legs ;-)
I'd love to get together with you sometime soon! I'll even go there. I know...you like to pull away, and thats ok, but you'll always have a friend in Sac no matter how far you try to pull. Please know that. I know you changed your number, so give me a call if you want. We can giggle and catch up!
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