Still not feeling I think

So who could honestly not smile seeing this picture!!!
Lately his little face is all that makes me smile
Im tired
Im fat
Im ugly
Im unhappy
Im scared
Im angry
Im miserable
Im excited
Im feeling
Im not feeling
Im feeling
Im not feeling
Make up your mind already would ya!

This weekend, was a bit difficult for me, I was crazy busy all weekend and still am not sure what happened to it all!
Starting Friday, got off work and went to my moms, dealt with the whole pizza issue which turned out exactly the way I knew it would, BAD.
Talked to Sushi boy, who I think is a bit possessive, I hate that. Maybe demanding is more like it, what does he honestly think we are in a relationship when he is in Hawaii and when I cannot get M out of my head no matter how hard I try. Saw M friday night also which was nice, missed him, I think.......Maybe not but whatever it was it felt great to see him.
Sat was a busy day with Little C, we played hard all day and went and got him a new scooby movie which he was SOOOOOOOOO excited about. And went to bed early I was soooooooooooo tired it was unreal! I b/p'd allllllllll freaking day long, worst day in a really long time. Sacred me but at the same time felt great to be in control or maybe lack there of but it still felt good!

Sunday my god what even happened with that! I was supposed to work a wine festival but ended up just going to it with my girl friends, we got so completely wasted it was unreal!!!!!!
Great music and friends and tons of wine, IM SET!
No purging yesterday which was good. Knew I needed food in my belly!
Went to see M again after the festival, had a really good time hanging out with him watching movies and just having him hold me felt so good!!!
He makes me laugh so much and I feel like when I am with him I can just be free of my issues when in actuality there are so many concerning him!
When Im with him I want to be with him and when Im not I want to be with him and all other times
I
want
to
be
with
him!!!
He melts me and I hate it!!!!
I just want to continue to not feel anything for anyone!! SO much easier to not have to have the fear of being hurt.
Enough about that!
SO the picture.......I attempted to cut little C's hair and I can honestly say clippers are not my forte to say the least! I SUCK!!!
This is how we ended up having to get a mohawk...which is ok because when I do his hair it is so so so cute!
I sent his father this picture (first time I have tried this in almost 2 years) and I wrote "Care to remember me" not sure if he got it but I have yet to hear anything back from him!!!!! Asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!