So I just got off the scale and for the first time in over a year I remembered what it felt like to lose weight....
I am 3 lbs below my goal weight,,,, I know it will probably be back up tomorrow and I really could give a shit less but for today it feels great.
I'm sorry if this is triggering for anyone but for me it is what I need to vent on.
It scares me to have lost and excites me in a way that only I think us who are struggling from and ed can understand.
I want to do a cartwheel like I did when I was younger every time I got excited about something..
I think the most weird part is that when I am at a less weight I actually feel like that number is going to be so high and that I will freak when I see it. But even if only for today I am a bit smaller I am at peace,,, I know its a sick way to be at peace but for today I simply just don't give a poop.
I need peace in my life.
I deserve some right?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
you do deserve peace my sweet sister, but I just will say what one of my rehab counselors always says -- is it real, or is it the fantasy?
love you. take care of yourself honey.
xoxo
sweetie...we all need something good in our lives. We all have our demons to fight. Just never give up lauren...believe in yourself. I believe in you.
later babes. xoxoxoxox
You know I get it. I've been feeling it lately myself. Even though I know getting on the scale is the equivalent of emotional russian roulette for me, I still do it (though not nearly as much as I used to).
Take care of you and that adorable little one this weekend!!
Love love,
mary
Wow. I totally relate the the excited feeling. Get it every time and DAMN has it been a while....I was so JEALOUS when I read this. I don't mean it in an ill will kinda way towards you, but like....well I think you will understand.
Lauren you created someone so beautiful with your body....see pics above of little C. And you yourself are such a beautiful caring woman. I wish you could treat yourself with the same acceptance and love you give us?
Sorry I have been absent.
xo
Sole
Post a Comment