Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Recovery and Reality!

Wow guys so sorry it has been such a long time since I have posted but more than I can ever begin to imagine has happened, really to much to go into and still trying to believe myself what has happened..
So we will go with a really short version which starts out with me arriving and ending up in an AA meeting about 4 weeks ago....
My life was seriously going out of control and it was happening all to fast!
I am happy to say that I have 18 days of sobriety today.... may not sound like a whole hell of alot but to me it is,, I fight the urges to drink and pop pills every minute of everyday but I am going to beat this,,,, I have no fucking doubt!
I am currently live in a Sober Living house which is going really good, I have one house mate who is a male which is a bit disappointing but hey we cant always get what we want can we!!!! wink wink
Anyways I'm hitting at least 2 to 3 AA meeting daily and taking substance abuse classes Monday thru Thursday!!!
I get to see Chance whenever I feel strong enough to do so in fact he will be spending the whole day with me tomorrow!
I can't wait!!!!!
I have made some very sweet friends in AA and have also found an amazing crush however as it goes for me and my luck she is in a relationship,,,, go figure!! heehee I'm behaving Jade I promise!!!! muah muah muah!! I want to see you soon poopie!
Thank you Lulu for posting what you did and I'm sorry I could not do it myself but I just could not face it!!
I love you all and think of you daily!!!!!!
Kisses Toni!!!!

12 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Sweetheart, I'm so very proud of you. I am. I always knew youwere strong and I know you will beat it. You're little boy is so worth it and so are you.

I've missed you so very much. And I'm so glad to hear from you...you wonderful woman. I can breath easier now. I was so worried about you...i know, I know, thatyou were okay, but I am a mother. You know how it is, hehehe.

Have a wonderful day with Chance and give lots of hugs and kisses.

Oh that lucky girl you have a big crush on...one kiss from you and I know she would be yours. hehehe.

Take care sweetheart and be strong...I know you will. I'm sending yo my hugs, kisses and best wishes...to you.

Kisses and kisses for you Heidi. I love you sweetie.

sarah said...

hi sweet strong kick ass woman...

glad I could help out. and wow wow wow I am really, really, really proud of you. really. I can only imagine you're facing down lots of demons but making wise wise (but hard!) choices - for you and for chance. good girl.

sending you oodles of love and support. if there's any way I can help, just holler.

love, lulu

Jade said...

Ohh sweetness I love you. I really do and the effort and care you are giving yourself right now is awesome. We all take it one day at a time with something girl so keep that chin up and....that's right.....STOP IT! hehe Thats not directed at anything but you know I've got to say it. It's also a term of enderment I use with you.

Let me know with a little time in advanced when you want me to come over your way. I'll let you feel me up if you want. I know I'm not the candy you've got your eye on but I'm not a horrible stand in ;-)
Love you girly!!! You know how to reach me! And I'll be calling ;-)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hello beautiful. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I had o come by...just to nearer to you.

Blowing you kisses and wonderful wishes...

Oh and jade will let you feel her up...how wonderful is that. Um...I'm standing in line here...after jade. But...can I have a kiss while you feel me up?

Don't answer that...just let me pretend you nodded...yes.

*Sigh*

Have a wonderful evening sweetheart. :D

PS...jade I want details from your meeting with the beautiful Heidi.

I'll beg if I have to, you know. I have no shame. :)

Mary said...

Hey sweetie,
It made my day to read this. I've been thinking about you a lot and wasn't sure if you were blogging, I'm so glad I checked. I really love you, admire you for taking these steps, and I hope you know how much you DESERVE good things, health and happiness.

xoxo
Mary

Sarah said...

I love you and I am so proud of you!!! I know it is hard but my God it is worth it. You can have a life beyond what you ever dreamed possible.

I'm here for you, babe. Do you still have my phone number?

xoxo

George said...

I just returned tonight from 2-1/2 weeks in Amarillo where I was without phone and Internet. The first stop was my sweet love Spiky and you are my second.

You are doing fabulously Lauren ... one day at a time soon adds up to weeks, months and years. Don't worry about a little slip once in a while ... just get back up and kick the shit out of it the next time.

I love you babe.

Fusion said...

Hi there Lauren,
Spiky said to send a caring thought your way over on her place and here I am. Don't know all you've been through, but it sounds like you're getting the help you need now.
Stay strong and be well!

Ron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ron said...

Hi Lauren!

Just stopped by via Miss Spiky Jones' blog to give you a big cyber-hug!

{{{{{{{LAUREN}}}}}}}}

Remember...

...you are always LOVED.

X

nitebyrd said...

AWESOME! (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

This makes me so happy for you.
Love you, darling.