A poem to all of my amazing friends out there!!!

Just as there are fish in the sea,


Life has meaning to me.


A strange combination of sights & sounds,


Everyday new battlegrounds.


But just as there are happy and fantastic times,


There are also those not so great and sad times.


But life's about not feeling blue,


It's standing up tall & getting a better view.


So don't feel sad, just be glad.


Wipe those tears, please have no fears.


Because the meaning to life, my new found friends,


Is having special lifelong friends!
All of you are so that for me!!!!

Last night was a bit difficult, b/p 2 times and honestly I did not even care, I was craving it and would have kept going had I not been completely beat up feeling. I miss my sister......and I hate my sister, I saw her car in front of my dads house this am and within 3 seconds I went from feeling good to feeling so out of control. Why would she do this to me, shame on me for thinking she gave a shit about me. The saddest thing is that she is my only full blood sister, I have 2 step brothers and 1 half sister and she is the one I should have been able to trust the most.
God how did we get here. I was given the great piece of advice to write her a letter and I totally would but I think I'm so angry right now that I just might send it so I'm thinking it might not be the smartest thing to do right now!!! Maybe I can write it and post it then I know someone is reading it!!! (People I trust)
Today has gotten a bit better I made an apt for tomorrow for a consult with a plastic surgery Dr so I'm very excited about that!
My dad got home late last night and I cannot tell you how happy I was seeing him, and at the same time I was so scared because I know my sister has always been the good one and I fear she will down talk me or advise my dad to distance himself from me she would totally do that shit!
Work is going good, really busy and my boss is being so great with me, she totally was there for me when I had my huge freak out on Tuesday, she held me and told me that I do not deserve this shit!
I have been some what avoiding talking to the one person I have trusted more than anyone for the last few days because I have been lazy I think and I am not really ready to hear what she has to say even though I know it will all be to help me!!! God Lisa why am I being so lazy when you are the one I need!!!!!!! I miss our sessions!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok have to run I have a patient wait to be checked in!
love to all of you and ae remember I'm holding you~!