Friday, July 20, 2007

Melt Down at the Dr.

So I go in for my pre-op today and the med tech asked me what my weight is and I without thinking start to become VERY defensive, I told her that I WILL NOT get on the scale and she started giving me a bit of a hard time until I all of the sudden completely broke down into tears. WTF! My step mom kept telling me that it was ok and to breathe but all I wanted to do was slap the shit out of this girl for totally making me lose my cool. I guess when I think about it it was not really her fault but for the first time my step mom was able to see me in action which sucked because I hate being able to see how bad this damn thing effects me. I'm lost at my actions today and really depressed, I need a vacation and time to veg-out! I feel so pathetic for not even being able to allow someone to do a blind weight on me but the thought of someone I don't know knowing my weight and me not makes me crazy!

Its Friday and I'm sending all the happy thoughts I have left in me right now to all of you and hoping you all have an amazing weekend!!!! Love to you Lauren!

6 comments:

CG said...

I know that feeling. I HATE being weighed, like it's some sort of reflection of you and it's no one else's business. I hate hate hate it, and I hate that we feel that way. So proud of all the steps you're taking, Lauren. mmmmwaah

Sarah said...

Oh Lauren, I am so sorry that happened. I hate having all these feelings so close to the surface where I have to feel them instead of numbing them by using symptoms.

You're doing so well, though. You have come so far! I'm really proud of you.

xoxo
Sarah

PTC said...

Hey Lauren,

I hope you ahd a decent weekend and that you're feeling better today.

Mary said...

I think you are certainly allowed a breakdown now and then right now. Hope you had a good weekend...

Sarah said...

I hope you had a good weekend and are resting up for tomorrow!

xoxo

Carrie Arnold said...

I typically don't get on the scale at the doc's unless there's a reason why medically I need to be weighed. Strep throat? Nuh-uh. I don't like other people knowing my weight when I don't.