So I go in for my pre-op today and the med tech asked me what my weight is and I without thinking start to become VERY defensive, I told her that I WILL NOT get on the scale and she started giving me a bit of a hard time until I all of the sudden completely broke down into tears. WTF! My step mom kept telling me that it was ok and to breathe but all I wanted to do was slap the shit out of this girl for totally making me lose my cool. I guess when I think about it it was not really her fault but for the first time my step mom was able to see me in action which sucked because I hate being able to see how bad this damn thing effects me. I'm lost at my actions today and really depressed, I need a vacation and time to veg-out! I feel so pathetic for not even being able to allow someone to do a blind weight on me but the thought of someone I don't know knowing my weight and me not makes me crazy!
Its Friday and I'm sending all the happy thoughts I have left in me right now to all of you and hoping you all have an amazing weekend!!!! Love to you Lauren!
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6 comments:
I know that feeling. I HATE being weighed, like it's some sort of reflection of you and it's no one else's business. I hate hate hate it, and I hate that we feel that way. So proud of all the steps you're taking, Lauren. mmmmwaah
Oh Lauren, I am so sorry that happened. I hate having all these feelings so close to the surface where I have to feel them instead of numbing them by using symptoms.
You're doing so well, though. You have come so far! I'm really proud of you.
xoxo
Sarah
Hey Lauren,
I hope you ahd a decent weekend and that you're feeling better today.
I think you are certainly allowed a breakdown now and then right now. Hope you had a good weekend...
I hope you had a good weekend and are resting up for tomorrow!
xoxo
I typically don't get on the scale at the doc's unless there's a reason why medically I need to be weighed. Strep throat? Nuh-uh. I don't like other people knowing my weight when I don't.
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