Heres to the hole in the wall's!

Matsuri's.......that is the name of the sushi restaurant that I stare at every single day all day long out of the window of my office. It is actually one of the best sushi places around which is really hard for me because today unlike any other I am completely craving sushi, only today again unlike any other I refuse to give in. I have realised over the last few days that I tend to binge on food that I could really care less about, food that is terrible for me and food that I would never otherwise eat. So I have decided that I will keep it to those foods and not involve the foods I truly love because one day I'm gonna get over this shit and I want to be able to sit back and eat freaking sushi and not have to think about how many times I b/p'd over it! Weird or logical? Who knows.
Having a real hard time with the issue of leaving little C. I heard him crying for me this am when he woke up and I was getting ready, I went in to get him and he was completely hysterical huge tears and huge slimy runny nose crying for mommy!! It was terrible, I grabbed him and even though I was 20 minutes late already I curled up and layed back down in bed with him for another 15 min. He was so upset it broke my heart. I then started thinking about how it will be with out me there and I cannot even go there right now never mind..........
Having dinner with my sister and step mom and little c tonight..... I can do this not much longer and I will not have to have my body go into complete stress mode, this numbing and tingling is driving me crazy. Last night I had to lay down because it go so bad I could barely feel anything, I think it is anxiety to has to be there is no way that is just my electrolytes being off.

Really excited about tomorrow night. My gf Sarah from HS actually my oldest and dearest friend and I and her little sister are going out. Funny story but a few weeks ago I went to the town we grew up in and called her crying, for some reason I missed her so much and I had just seen her 2 days earlier. Anyways I missed us going to the old run down hole in the wall bars that we used to go to and spend hours in drinking, smoking and talking shit. So tomorrow we are going rewind and pulling an olden days night. So hard for us to get them with me having little c and she has twin boys who are 6 months younger than little c..... crazy life of ours!! I so excited about it. Lame I know how can some one be excited over something like that???? Who knows but I am!

Ok gonna get back to work for a bit. I'm send hugs and positive thoughts to all of you out there!!!! WHERE EVER YOU MAY BE!!!