Whats with the Salt Shaker?

This morning is bringing so many feelings up for me. I just got a phone call from my Dr. and she said that the VA will pay for treatment but that if I do the outpatient program that they will not pay for my housing which is just so not acceptable because that means almost 3 hours of driving everyday which is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not gonna happen, that is all I need is to deal with traffic after eating 3 meals having to keep them down and hours of therapy no thank you! SO not sure if it will be inpatient or Out, were gonna fight them as far as the hotel situation goes! ERRRRR I want this over already!
I'm giving my landlord my 30 day notice today, not ready to and not really sure it is the right decision to make but I cannot afford to commute and have my apartment it is just to expensive. Shit I still have to buy diapers....and that is the least of my expenses.
Easter was really nice, quiet but such a great time, I loved watching little C go crazy during the Easter egg hunt, he is to funny......He would stop after about every 2 eggs he would find to eat the chocolate, it was all over his little face!
I had a rough day though, probably one of the worst thus far, I swear I thought I was gonna step on the scale and have gained 5 lbs with as much as I b/p but to my surprise I lost another lb. Thank god.....
Ok so I have a story for my night on Friday!
It was girls night out and so we went to sushi and then down to a bar in my town, this little Irish one that I just love. We got there about 9 and drank too much and ran into a bunch of people we had not seen in years so we decided about 12 that we needed a change in scenery so off we went to another bar, actually it is our local white trash bar, but always so much fun to go to! We get there start drinking and then this guy comes up and gives my friend S a salt shaker, and 2 seconds later his friend comes up and gives her another one. Well S is a very sensitive person to say the least and she started saying that she was going to leave because she felt like they were talking shit about her, so me being a protective friend and quite drunk decided to be miss big bad ass and confront these assholes, so I do and the guy totally starts being defensive and so I start being a total bitch and he then decides to call me a skinny cracked out ugly bitch which in turn I call him a fat f&ck ( i know terrible to say but shit I was pissed) then he tells me "why don't you just go kill yourself because no one would give a shit", at that point I walked away, and I hate to say it but I went up to my gf and walked into the back of the bar and completely lost it. I could not stop crying, my body got so stressed out and started the tingling thing so bad that my hands completely cramped up so I should not move them and I could barely talk because my mouth cramped shut. It was so f&cked up! It took me a few to collect myself and when I did everyone came up to me and told me how bad this guy felt and how sorry he was, I said f that I need a shot! So 2 shots of tequila later I decided I would let this guy talk to me. He totally said sorry like 50 times and told me that he thought that I was so beautiful and that he was just pissed because he knew that someone like me (whatever that means) would never give him a chance. I told him that for starters telling someone to go kill themselves is not the way to go. I told him I forgave him but all I keep hearing is him telling me how ugly I was and to kill myself! Who does that?
I was so pissed because this was not even about me, I was just trying to keep my friend from going home and look what happens, that's it I'm staying out of it from now on! Oh and I never did get an answer on the salt shaker!
Maybe that is why this weekend was so hard for me, I don't know but what I do know is that once again I'm tired~~